First things first: having great sex has nothing to do with weight, and many people who are overweight enjoy fulfilling sex lives. Regardless of that, there have been studies that focus on sex and weight, and in some cases, those who have participated have reported having better sex after losing weight. While few doctors know about this, it could be a useful motivator for anyone interested in trying a weight loss program.
One study followed 187 overweight adults, average age 45, in a medically supervised weight loss program that included periodic quality-of-life surveys. After two years, they lost 13 percent of their body weight. Before the study, 68 percent of the women said they felt unattractive. After, the figure was only 26 percent. Initially, 63 percent of the women said they felt uncomfortable when a lover saw them undressed. After, just 34 percent felt that way. Findings for the men were similar.
In a study at Duke, a 44-year-old man shed 47 pounds. He reported: “To my utter amazement—and the delight of my girlfriend—I was suddenly imbued with the sexual energy of a 20-year-old lifeguard.” Comments like his prompted Duke staff to survey the sexual effects of weight loss on 70 men, average age, 42. Moderate weight loss [eight to 30 pounds] significantly improved their libidos and sexual satisfaction.
Brown University researchers surveyed the sexual frequency and satisfaction of 32 overweight women at the start of a weight-loss program. The women lost an average of 56 pounds. In a subsequent survey, more than half reported greater sexual frequency and satisfaction.
Part of the connection between weight loss and better sex involves self-esteem. Losing weight can help toward boosting it. While attactiveness has nothing to do with weight, when people feel more attractive, and those feelings radiate to those around them, so they also look sexier to potential lovers.
But losing weight may enhance sex for other reasons as well:
- Less fatigue. It takes work to carry extra pounds. Overweight people report more fatigue. Fatigue tends to build during the day. Most people make love at night. So energy loss can be a factor in this realm.
- Less pain. Carrying extra weight is hell on the hips, knees, and ankles. Many studies show that compared with people who maintain recommended weight, those who are overweight suffer significantly more arthritis. Pain is a major sexual turn-off. Weight loss reduces joint pain, which improves libido and enhances sexual enjoyment.
- Lower cholesterol. Most successful long-term weight-control programs limit consumption of meats, which are high in saturated fat and cholesterol. University of South Carolina researchers checked the cholesterol levels of 3,250 men, and then surveyed their sex lives. The higher the men’s cholesterol, the more likely they were to report erectile dysfunction (ED). Compared with men whose cholesterol was below 180 mg/dl, those with levels above 240 reported almost twice the likelihood of ED. In women, high cholesterol reduces clitoral responsiveness and vaginal lubrication.
- Less diabetes. Diabetes, per se, does not condemn anyone to sex problems, but the disease increases risk of ED in men and impairs vaginal lubrication and clitoral sensitivity in women. Weight loss often reverses type-2 diabetes, which accounts for 90 percent of the disease.
Of course, losing weight isn’t easy. You’ve probably heard that nine out of 10 dieters regain what they lose. But this means that 10 percent lose weight for good. How? They learn from their mistakes.
“Few people understand that permanent weight control is a learning process,” says James Hill, Ph.D., of the University Colorado Health Sciences Center in Denver. “People try a diet, lose a little, regain it, and feel they’ve ‘failed.’ But they haven’t failed. They’re learning by trial and error. Over time, they figure out what works for them.”
Dr. Hill co-founded the National Weight Control Registry (NWCR), a database of people who have lost at least 30 pounds and kept it off for at least a year. Since 1993, the NWCR has collected more than 7,000 success stories. The average registrant has lost 60 pounds and kept if off for five years.
How? “They stop dieting,” Hill explains. “Dieting involves major short-term changes that are virtually impossible to maintain long-term. Our mantra is ‘small changes for life.’ Figure out what diet modifications you can live with—and stick with.”
They also walk. “You can’t keep weight off without regular exercise,” Hill says. “Walking is registrants’ #1 physical activity. They incorporate more walking into their lives. They take the stairs instead of the elevator.”
The biggest surprise to emerge from the NWCR is that losing weight and maintaining the loss are two different challenges. “People lose weight in many ways,” Hill explains, “but they almost always maintain lower weight on a low-fat, low-calorie diet with lots of walking.”